What It Means to be a Father

Father's Day 2011

It's pretty amazing that a 2ft spit-fire of a little boy can make a whole day mean something so much more.

Joseph made Eric a father. A daddy. He looks up to him with big blue eyes and loves him so much it makes me melt. Fatherhood has changed Eric... I watch him love on that little boy and it makes me love him more.



Joseph made my dad a papaw. It's probably the coolest thing I've ever experienced. It's hard to explain, those who know my dad probably understand it best. Growing up my dad was stern and gruff, but soft and gentle with me at the same time. He put on this fascade that he was a tough guy and that he had a "I don't give a shit what you think attitude." But... wow... it's astounding how that little boy changed things. I knew my dad was loving and caring, but watching him play with my son makes me well up with even more love for him than ever.

I love all the fathers in my life... my own and my son's.

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -- Anne Geddes

Better late than never... Easter

I know that Easter was a few months ago, but I thought I would share some photos from Joe's first easter egg hunt considering he was too little last year to really get it... But this year...

I was afraid he wasn't going to understand what his mission was... but surprisingly he is a natural easter egg hunter... and scored big!

Insomnia makes you think

I hate working nights. Here I sit at 3AM awake. Joseph is soundly sleeping with drool pooling around his mouth... I just checked on him. So is Eric. Amazingly they sleep about the same way... all over the place... drool and all. Speaking of Eric....


We had our 6yr anniversary last week. Anniversaries of any sort whether of a relationship, marriage, birth, or disaster tend to make to think about how you got to where you are... to think about the start. It seems like it was so long ago almost like a lifetime ago. It's almost like I don't remember my life before him. Weird. 6yrs ago I was getting ready to graduate high school... start my "college life", which really turned out to be so much different than I ever expected... He was working at Marsh. He was my project, something I never saw lasting.





We've been on and off and on again, but there's always been something there. This deep connection that I could never explain. We've always wanted the same things.... nice house, nice things, a family... but have had very different ways to achieve it. According to everyone else and me most of the time, he's gone about it in all the wrong ways. Took every wrong turn... the bad boy so to speak and me... well... we could not be anymore different in that respect. I wanted to do everything right... an aspiration that was totally unrealistic and unreasonable. I went to college like I was supposed to. Made big "plans" like I was supposed to.





Then... came Joseph.


Something I was not supposed to do. I was not supposed to have a baby with the bad boy before I was married... before I finished school... He is the best "wrong decision" I've ever made. Eric joined the guard to try and be a responsible father... eventually ended up paying for his way through CDL school... I finished school and started my career as a nurse... That brings us to now... 6 years, a baby, many jobs, many fights later... still in love and more committed to work through life together. Amazing. Never thought I'd be sitting here saying this. Ever. Guess sometimes bad judgements end up working out....