Whole Again

"We're pulling apart and coming together again and again. We're growing apart, but we pull it together, pull it together, together again."



They say a picture can say 1000 words. I totally whole heartedly believe. One of closests friends from college, who was an english major, decided to take up telling people's stories from behind the camera... 1000 words at a time... she told the story of my whole world one afternoon in Brown County State park.

I love candid photos. They take a snapshot of life as it is happening. They show emotion instead of a posey smile. They allow the viewer to feel the emotion. Don't you feel it?


That will forever be one of my favorite photographs. It brings a smile, a tear, and warms my heart all with one glance. I love my daddy and my little boy... put them together and I melt.

No matter how difficult life has been through the last few years. We've stuck together. Maybe not as together as we were a few months ago... meaning the break up, but we're still a family... dysfunctional as it may be... I love us.


My life story would not be complete without one person... Cheri (my "weekend sister") Best friends since 8th grade... hard to believe that was... what... 10 years now. From first boyfriends to college to motherhood... we've gone through it together. We may not get to see each other as much as we would like, but she will always be my person.


Little blessing... that's what my son is. He is the reason for my existence. I guess I really never understood just HOW much you love your children... I don't think you can until you have one. It's probably the scariest, hardest, best thing I've ever done. He is the reason I get up everyday and do what I do. He is the source of my drive and has been since the minute I knew he was growing inside of me. They say women become mothers when they find out they are pregnant and men become fathers when they see the baby for the first time. I think that's totally true. I started planning our life together, Joe and I, when I was pregnant. Knowing I had to get through nursing school, get a job, provide a life for this little creature. So that's what I'm doing... he is the reason. Thank God for him... I love that little boy more than life itself. As cheesy as it seems, it's true... he's turned me into a cheeseball... ;-)

"You find your faith has been lost and shaken
You take back what's been taken
Get on your knees and dig down deep
You can do what you think is impossible
Keep on believing, don't give in
It'll come and make you whole again
It always will, it always does
Love is unstoppable"

The Great Pumpkin

MUAH HAHAHA...

Ok just kidding! I know I'm hilarious. So I love love love halloween. Not so much the scary part of halloween but autumn, costumes, decorating, and CANDY! This year was especially fun because Joe's older. First, we got to go to the pumpkin patch.

The natural thing to do after buying our pumpkins.... was to carve them!

Joseph didn't like the pumpkin brains... which was surprising I thought he would think it was fun to play with the seeds or something... but was you can tell he was not having it!

He did really like the finished product! He kept taking the top on and off and sticking his hand in the whole.. it was pretty funny!

Halloween rolled around and out came the costumes :-)

My little nemo and butterfly (Brie)

What good would fall be if we couldn't play in the leaves!

It was hilarious to watch him try to get out of his big pile of leaves.



This has by far been the best fall so far... I'm sure it'll just get better from here on out!

Those Boys in Blue

As an early birthday present I had the pleasure of going to a Colts game at Lucus Oil. My first ever!

It was so much fun! It's such an amazing feeling being there for the actual game! Everyone rooting for the same team! It was great!

The IU band played at half time. It was really cool to see them running around the field and crazy how fast they run!

We won!!

Blink and It's Over...

It's amazing how fast time has gone over the last few months. I swear it was just a few days ago and I was picking out stuff for Joe's first birthday and now it's almost Christmas. Amazing. Anyway... Let me catch you up a little.


Joe FINALLY is big enough we switched him over to a "big boy" carseat... mind you he hasn't met the weight limit of the pumpkin carrier seat yet either...

Yeah... he hates his new carseat. Well he hates both car seats... really... he hates anything or anyone that tries to strap him down... You try reasoning with a 15 month old... It goes something like this:

Joe SCREAMING
Mommy "Joe, you have to be buckled in to be safe." as I fight him.
Joe SCREAMING and arching his back
Mommy "Joseph edward. Now. I have to buckle you in." as I continue to fight him.
Joe SCREAMING, arching his back, and kicking me.
Mommy "Child, you are going to lose." and he does.

Every time.... I've learned a trick or two though... he loves to play with mommys keys. That usually buys me enough time to get him strapped in... REALLY quick.

I'm SO in for it. He is everywhere now... He's running (a cute little waddle run) and climbing on everything and pulling things down off of tables. It's amazing how such a little person can make such a BIG mess! If it's like this now... what are the supposed "terrible twos" going to be like?! Oh dear. I can only imagine. Although he is a little shit sometimes, he is also the most lovable little guy...

That's him and my little cousin Grace during our most recent trip to Chicago to visit. He was surprisingly ok on the drive up there... waited to melt down until we were pulling into their house edition. We spent a nice long weekend with them... went and saw my 3 year old cousin play soccer... which makes me very excited to Joseph to play sports! It was so fun to watch him get so into it... he was hardcore!

Joe even got to play some soccer! Of course he attention span is even shorter than all the 3 year olds... who knew it was possible!





As many people know, Joseph has a thing for hats... he found a hat at Aunt Jodi's and was putting it on everyone's head... including his Great Grandma's...

Not only does he have a thing for hats... but also sunglasses!

I love my little guy... and all his beautiful quirks.

"Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand, You can't flip it over and start again, Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth"

The First Trim of Many

We took Joseph for his first hair cut just after his birthday. I opted for Cookie Cutters rather than the average hair salon due to my son's "active nature". At least he'd be entertained while the poor lady has to cut his hair! Well it worked because he did so well! He loved when she sprayed his hair to make it wet!

Almost done!

All finished! My handsome little boy! I was sad to see his "babyness" go, which is what happens with that first haircut, but he looked so cute afterwards. He's becoming such a big boy!

Never Existed Before

So... one year ago today... I accepted, whether I wanted to or not, the challenge of being a mom. Yes today is about my son and his life, but it's more of a celebration for me that I actually survived. When I found out that I was pregnant, I wasn't married, I was still in nursing school, I was living with my parents. I was a wreck. 9 months, a semester, summer, and many many pregnancy complications and a c-section later... I was a mom. Eric was gone for the first 6 weeks of Joseph's life. I spent so many nights praying to God that Joseph would sleep longer than 3 hours at a time. I had never felt that exhaution before...I thought for sure I was going to die of sleep deprivation... now it's an old hat. I vowed to myself that all I had to do was take it one day at a time. 365 one-days-at-a-time... I'm still alive, I'm done with school and an RN, and my son sleeps through the night... amazing.


Tonight we had a mini celebration (his party is Saturday).

We sang Happy Birthday and he go to eat his birthday cupcake... hysterical!

He didn't know what to think about it at first...



but daddy put the icing in his mouth and then...



it was everywhere... we all got a big laugh out of it and Joe thoroughly enjoyed smearing it everywhere!!! Afterwards... we needed a bath...

His bathtub looked like we killed something in it... nice choice on the red icing right? :-)

After a bath and PJs, we played with new toys from Aunt Kristin!

Cups... he loves playing with plastic cups.. he really likes to put them up to his mouth and yell into them... he likes the echo :-) It's pretty funny to watch!

She also got him this cool fire truck and sings and lights up and you hit it with a hammer. What more could you ask for a for a little boy toy!! Daddy had to show him what to do with the hammer, he still didn't get it and just pushed the truck around.

All-in-all it was a great night. I can't believe that it has been a year... it has flown. My baby isn't a baby anymore... he's a little boy. My little boy.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."

Fast Cars, Sunshine, and Family

Had family down for the Brickyard 400. Any reason for a good party and beer drinkin'! It was a delightfully white trash nascar event. We ate too much, drank too much, and got too much sun!

We spent most of the day down at the lake. Joseph swam in his froggy ring, splayed Grandma a few times then found his way to Aunt Rosie's lap.

Aunt Rosie and Joseph end up sitting on the beach and Joseph explored the rocks... He tried to eat a few but after a few NO!s he got the idea.

While they played on the beach, Cheri & Brent, Eric & I and of course Brie went out on the boat to go tubing. She was looking cute in her little sun hat.

She eventually fell asleep on Cheri's lap and when we returned to the dock Joseph was asleep in Aunt Rosie's arms. I took advantage and snuggled with my not so little boy in a beach chair in front of the lake. Nothing better.

We eventually made our way upstairs, changed the kids and let them play. Joseph is a little rough for Brie though. He kept trying to climb on her and knocked her over. She finally would just cry and run away. Cheri ended up with Joseph on one hip and Brie on the other to keep the peace.

Don't worry they kissed and made up... literally. :-)